Preparing a Custody Agreement for Mediation and Court – What to Include | Holidays and Vacations

Whether you are preparing a custody agreement for court or preparing a custody agreement for mediation, you may wonder what you should include in your document. Here are some helpful tips that you can use to create a comprehensive agreement to propose to your ex, the mediator, and the judge:Custody. You will need to decide what kind of legal custody and what kind of physical you and your ex will have. If you decide to have joint legal custody, you should make a list of the important decisions that will need to be made for the child (such as decisions regarding medical care and education) and who will be responsible for making those decisions.For example, one parent might be responsible for the child’s religious upbringing while the other parent has the authority to be the decisions about the child’s education. Both parents could be responsible for making decisions regarding the child’s medical care.Residency. You will need to designate a primary residence for the child for legal purposes. This will likely be the address you use to enroll the child in school and that you use on other forms. Some states allow parents to alternate residency if they want to.Scheduling. You will need to include a child visitation schedule that shows when the child will be with each parent on a routine basis as well as holidays and vacation times. Your schedule should be detailed and you should include the start and end times of holidays so there is no confusion in the future.You may want to include provisions for vacation time (such as providing the other parent with a designated amount of advanced notice) since vacation time may be difficult to predict so far in advance.Provisions. You should include provisions and stipulations that will serve as the rules to raising your child. You may include anything you want to as long as the provisions are relevant and in your child’s best interests. Some topics to address include optional expenses, transportation, communication, discipline, extracurricular activities and the child’s belongings.Modification. You should include a method for periodically reviewing the plan and making modifications to it. You child’s needs will change in the future. The arrangements you make now might not meet your child’s needs five years from now.Resolution. You should include a method of dispute resolution that lists the various steps you will take to resolve your problems should you find yourselves disagreeing about things in the future. Returning to court should always be considered the last option.You should keep in mind that it is highly unlikely that your ex or the judge is going to accept your proposed custody agreement “as is”. As you prepare your custody agreement for court or prepare your custody agreement for mediation, you should be prepared to explain why you feel your proposed agreement is in the best interest of your child and how it will meet your child’s needs.You may have to compromise on a few issues so try to be patient and open to suggestions. You should put forth the effort to listen to and consider to what the judge or the other parent has to say.You cannot spend too much time creating your proposed agreement. Once the judge has made a final ruling, your custody agreement will become a court order that you will both be legally obligated to follow. Taking the time to create a parenting plan now will benefit you and your child in the future.

Japanese Tea Gardens – Create Your Own Japanese Sanctuary | gardening

What is the difference between a Japanese tea garden and a Japanese garden? A tea garden is often associated with residences and are essentially paths leading to a Japanese tea house. They are often much more secluded and private, reflecting the process of leaving our ordinary world and lifestyle and entering into a special a place.Many Japanese gardens are meant to be viewed from a certain perspective or observation spot, while tea gardens are often more geared toward the experience of walking through a garden and taking in the atmosphere. Of course there are strolling gardens (Kai-yu shiki), but again the process is different. The best view of a tea garden is after passing through the entrance gate and entering the tea house grounds. Machi-ai, or waiting benches, are also great places to sit and take in the experience before continuing on the tea house.In a tea garden, or Roji in Japanese, the detailed placement of stepping-stones is meant to keep your focus on the ground, not letting the mind wander to far from the path. On a practical level, these stepping-stones, which are raised above the soil line, are there to keep your feet from getting dirty after it rains.These Serene Gardens are meant to bring about the image of a mountain pass or a stroll up to a hermit’s house deep in the woods. It often conflicts with the more refined, elegant, and tightly pruned Japanese garden often seen from a temple porch, imperial palace, or art museum. It doesn’t mean that there is no pruning done, but the selected shrubs and trees are pruned a little more naturally.In general, I would suggest that Japanese gardens tend to be about 75% evergreen (plants that keep their leaves all year) and 25% deciduous (plants that loose their leaves in winter). Of the 25% deciduous materials the majority are probably Japanese maple trees. Bright, attention-grabbing flowers are rarely used. Especially in the tea garden, a rustic natural look is desired so flowering trees may be used but still kept to a minimal use. A white flowering Dogwood is a great example of an elegant tree that would fit well in this type of garden. Azaleas are often highly sculpted in the general Japanese garden, but are left a little rougher in a tea garden.Because the focus of a Roji path is on experience, the process of walking through often leads one to smaller outside rooms, creating a small journey for the person. There are often many curves, which intrigue and keep you guessing as to what is to come around the next corner.That being said, contemporary tea gardens sometimes push the limits of what is acceptable in a traditional tea garden. I believe that modern architecture of the Japanese home is also influencing the way many contemporary garden designers create their gardens. In Japan we are seeing more open style tea gardens with less shade. A more modern garden may very well compliment an avant-garde Japanese tea house.Authentic Japanese garden landscape companies such as Serene Gardens are great places to look for ideas on Japanese gardening. A good site will have Japanese garden tips, ideas, and products that will help you build the type of garden or interior space that fits your lifestyle.


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